The St. Patty's day parade from Hades
by Rosaline
Summary: It has drama, humor and well...bandness, what else could you ask for? Ch two is up! It The saxs are having a war and the drummers can't march. It's done! The final ch is up. Please read and review.
1. Default Chapter

Ch 1: Mean Green Mother& The Plague   
  
Part One: Mean Green Mother  
  
  
Bridget ran down the hall, pushing some poor bystander out of the way and prayed that it wasn't a teacher. She rounded a sharp corner into the gym and to the side stairs to the stage. She jumped over volleyball net (the sports people in our school use our backstage area to store some of their stuff) and threw a door into the backstage/band room. Bridget took off her over-stuffed book bag and threw it on the ground.   
  
"Hay! You could have broken the floor." Angel, one of the trumpets cried.  
  
"No way." Said Tom, a freshmen drummer as he climbed down a ladder from the loft. " That floor's been around since the Dark Ages, it could only have improved it." Angel walked over and hit the ladder. "Hay!" Tom cried angrily as he jumped down. "You could've killed me!"  
  
"No, really?" Angel asked as she picked up her math book. Laura, Tom's older sister and the Flag leader, walked in as Tom had jumped off the ladder.  
  
"TOMAS! Don't jump off of that, you'll kill yourself and then I'll have to listen to mom and dad complain about the expenses of your funeral and I want to get into a good college-"  
  
"I feel so loved." Tom said as he picked up his drumsticks and started to drum softly on a nearby stand. Bridget shook her head and stood outside the band director's door. It opened five minuets later and she nearly ran over Mike, the drum major.  
  
"Wow." He said and wisely stepped back. She looked around the office, muttering to herself about "finding her baby".   
  
"Hay, Bridget if your pregnant you're gonna get kicked out." Mikey, other drummer this on from the grade school, said as he walked in. Bridget glared at him and walked out into the backstage area.   
  
"Ms. Ed," she called. The band director looked up from the stack of music she was sorting on the piano. "Do you know where my trombone is?" Bridget asked in dismay.   
  
"Wasn't it in my office? If it isn't then try the back room." Bridget then ran into the "back room". (AN: The back room isn't in back of anywhere. It's just where we put all the drums, flags stuff, and uniforms.) She frowned as she walked down the small path that was between the fag stuff and the shelves where the other instruments are held.   
  
"Aha." She picked up a huge, black case and hugged it.   
  
"Oh, so that's what you meant by your baby?" Mikey asked. Bridget smiled and nodded as she walked out and placed the case down. She then got a chair and a stand and then proceeded to oil the slide, polish the trombone and practice the B flat concert scale. Tony, the Barry sax, shook his head when she got it right and started to do a happy dance. Bridget had just started to learn how to play trombone right before band camp (two weeks to be precise) and was still having some problems mastering the instrument. She was the only low brass player (unless you counted Tony) in the band. Everyone who was going to be their were pretty much set up so Ms. Ed started to hand out the music.   
  
"This is the music for the St Patty's Day parade from hell that we somehow got roped into doing again." She said.  
  
"Parade from hell?" Bridget asked. "You mean that there's one that's worse then The Shower of Roses one where we almost got trampled by all those old ladies?" Her eyes were wide at the memory of her second parade with the band.  
  
"Oh, yah. This one takes forever and the weather's always bad and we're only doing it is because they pay us. Oh, yah there's always all these drunk people who hate our school there." Ms. Ed said simply as she handed Bridget her music. She then handed it to Margaret, anther trumpet player, who was next to Bridget. Margaret frowned at the music and raised her hand.  
  
"Ms. Ed, I don't think that this song is going to work for a St. Patrick's Day parade." She stated.  
  
"Why?" Ms. Ed asked.  
  
"It's Mean Green Mother From Outer Space."  
  
  
  
  
Part Two: The Plague  
  
Bridget sighed as she forced herself to stay awake and copy her theology notes. This however was no small task since their teacher was about as exciting as watching paint dry. The notes were about the sacraments and all these little points underneath them. Tony's hand was in the air. Their teacher stopped and frowned at him.  
  
"Tony."  
  
"May I please go to the bathroom?" He asked. Bridget looked up. Tony NEVER asked to go to the bathroom. He didn't look too good. In fact he looked a little green.  
  
~Oh no.~ She thought and looked back at her teach who didn't seem to completely grasp the severity of the situation. (What a surprise)  
  
"Can't you weight for us to finish to finish these last two points?" Vroom. Tony was out of the room. "Maybe I should have given him a bucket or something." Bridget put her head down on her desk. Tony was out for the next two days. Then it was the weekend. Sunday Bridget got a fever of 102 and didn't go to school the next day. She had to content herself with watching Passions and other such daytime shows for the next two days. Then on Tuesday she went to the doctor. She was still with her childhood doctor because he always seemed to find some series of things wrong with her that he needed to check out. She sat in a baby room that had clowns all over the walls. Needless to say the poor trombone player was shrinking away from them, as any smart person in her potion would have been. Her doctor came in with a huge smile on his face.   
  
"Alright Bridget, what's the matter with you?" He asked in a thickly accented voice. Bridget started to say something and had a coughing fit. "Ok, Bridget, coughing. You can stop now. Bridget!" She was doubled over but finally stopped. He found out what else what else was wrong with her and said that she couldn't go back till Thursday.   
  
"But I'll miss anther practice and we have a big parade coming up. It's going to be televised and everything." She cried in dismay.   
  
"Well then you'll just have to rest tomorrow and take all your medicines so that you'll be well for it. Oh, this medicine can cause drowsiness and dizziness." He said. Bridget's jaw was on the floor.  
  
"I'm dizzy enough as it is and I'm TROMBONE player and your giving me that?" She asked and shook her head. "Man you know nothing about band people."  
  
  
Ok, this is the end of the first chapter. The next chapter will be about my return to the band and what we did for our last week to prepare for the parade. The 3rd will be about the parade itself. I should get them out fairly quickly considering that the parade is today. Now I have to go get ready. Please review. Thanks. 


	2. The return and DDR

Ch 2: The return and DDR.  
  
Part 1: The return  
  
  
Bridget sat in the band room on Monday. It would be her first practice back from her war with the plague and she was fine, well other then the fact that her medicine made her more out of whatever loop of life that most people were usually in. She sat, trying to get her eyes to focus on her music while Maggie, one of her best friends and a flute player, danced around Tony singing.   
  
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts," she started  
  
"De da de le de." Tony said.  
  
"There they are a standing in a row." Bridget chorused.  
  
"Bum, bum, bum." Tony said, now starting to sound more exasperated.  
  
"Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head-" Bridget and Maggie cried then stopped when Tom came in staring at them.   
  
"You people have problems." He said.  
  
"Yah and they would require a shrink and lots of medication. What's your point?" Maggie asked as she tapped her foot impatiently.   
  
"I have no point. I'm just a bass drummer." He said.  
  
"Well then stop stating the obvious." Bridget said as she bobbed her head to some music that no one else could hear but her. Tom shook his head and walked to the back room to get his drum. Kris slowly walked over to Tony and played a very high note on his alto sax in the other Saxes ear. Tony got up and started to case him around the room. Kris grabbed one of Tom's drumsticks and hit Tony's knee with it. Tony fell to one knee but got a hold of Kris'.  
  
"I'm gonna rip out your knee caps!" Tony yelled as they fought.   
  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" Kris said as he finally got free and started running around again.  
  
"It must be nice to have such a small instrument so you can annoy people then run really fast with it on." Tom said, watching the ongoing war between the Saxes continue. Tony now had Kris in a headlock and was threatening to rip out his collarbone when Ms. Ed came in two see that and Bridget and Maggie laughing on the floor, clutching their instruments.  
  
"What the...no I'm not gonna ask. I see no blood therefore I see no paperwork." She said as she walked to the front of the room. She stopped at the feet of the two girls who were trying to get a hold of themselves. "Ok get up and outside. Now we march."   
  
"Yea!" Maggie and Bridget yelled and ran over to the door.  
  
"Booo." Tony said and let Kris out of the headlock.   
  
  
"Come on, come on." Maggie said and bounced impatiently.  
  
"You act like a five-year-old." Tom said as they walked outside.  
  
"No she doesn't." Bridget cried. "You're giving her WAY to much credit. She acts like a two-year-old. Right, Maggs?" Bridget looked at her friend questioningly. Maggie nodded her head vigorously.  
  
"Yep."  
  
  
"My God who gave her sugar?" Mike asked.   
  
"I don't know, but whoever did should be drug out into some street and shot." Morgan, a senor flute, said as she walked out wrapping her coat around her. The rest of the band slowly came out, Ms Ed last.  
  
"Ahhhh. It's cold." She cried.  
  
"Oh, well all of us figured that out and we don't even have college degrees." Mike said as he rubbed his hands together.  
  
"Yah well, not all of us are so long and skinny that we could wrap our legs and arms around ourselves and be warm." Ms Ed said to the extremely tall drum major. "Come, on. Let's get marching so we can go back inside." They marched around the school about three times before Angel yelled  
  
"My legs are burning!"  
  
"It's a good pain." Bridget said from behind her.  
  
"Shut up you stupid trombone!" Angel growled. Bridget stuck her tongue out at her but kept her mouth shut.   
  
"Alright, we're going to start playing now. Mean Green mother first."  
  
"I still don't think that we should play that." Margaret stated.   
  
"It's got green in it. Besides they'll all be too drunk to know what we're playing now go." They started to play but when Bridget went to pull out her slide she realized that her slid oil was frozen.   
  
  
  
  
Now it was the second practice of the week. (We have two days of band and two days of chorus, this parade actually cuts into out concert time) No one was there. Well most of the drummers were and four instrumentalists but that was about it. They lined up in front of the school to march a little.   
  
"Come on Mike, let us kick off the cadence now." Tom wined.  
  
"No." came the reply.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you guys always mess it up and I'm mentally preparing myself for it." He said with a smile to the rest of the band. They marched for about five more minutes back and forth then Mike told the drummers to kick it off. They did.  
  
"Mark time, mark!" came the sudden command. All of the instrumentalists stopped but the drummers kept going till they reached the end of the road, turned back around and realized that no one was behind them and that their drum major was hitting his head off a tree.  
  
  
Part two: Dance dance Revolution   
  
Bridget stood in shock watching her friend Kris play Dance dance Revolution (You know that big game in the mall that you dance on). It looked hard and most of the band was coming to have a mall day before the big parade tomorrow. Kris stopped and Bridget clapped.  
  
"Whooo! Great job." She yelled as he walked over to her. The two bandos got some lunch and weighted for the others to come. Bridget was walking back from the bathroom when she saw Maggie and Julie, she's not a bando but she acts like one anyway, standing watching Kris. Bridget slowed her paced but they saw her anyway. Bridget braced herself and BOOM! Maggie and Julie tackled her in the middle of the mall. They watched some other kids play some a little while then Maggie and Bridget got on.   
  
"Oh we're gonna suck." Bridget said with a sigh.  
  
"At least we won't suck alone." Maggie said and the two bandos gave each other a high five before starting. Well at first they did but the second time they did a lot better, well they didn't fall anyway. The three girls decided to go to Walden's books and started down the mall.   
  
"Hay! Crack monkeys, you better weight up." Julie called as the other two roll stepped across the mall.  
  
"But we're not even going fast." Maggie said.  
  
"It doesn't matter 'cause we're here." The three girls stepped inside and Bridget started to spin around to their favorite section.  
  
"Hay, I'm gonna get the tranquilizers if you don't clam down." Julie warned the younger girl. Bridget stood very still and made a pouting face then suddenly turned around.  
  
"Maggiiiieeeeeeee, Julie's threatening me." Bridget wined.  
  
"Suck it up." Maggie said from the floor. She was engrossed in a Star Wars book. They each found a few books that they wanted but where staying in the bookstore anyway. They were sitting on the floor looking at the Science Fiction section when Julie burst out laughing.  
  
"What?" Maggie asked Bridget was trying to find an Earth Final Conflict book without much avail.  
  
"This is flippin' hysterical." She said and went to stand up.  
  
"Julie! Watch out or else we'll have a repeat of last time." Maggie warned. Bridget shuddered at the memory. (Cue the flash back wavery lines) The three girls were standing next to a display of Star Trick books and Julie had bumped into Bridget who had knocked it over. Bridget and Julie had to try to pick them all up before the sales lady came over while laughing uncontrollably. Though captain Kirk's head didn't look quite right after that.   
  
  
  
  
Ok, there's the end of the second chapter. The next one is the parade itself and truest me it's interesting to say the least. Ok, now you see that little box to your left that says, "review". Yah, you know the one. Click on it. Come on you can do it. Thanks for reading and I'll try to get the next part out soon. 


	3. The parade

Ch 3 The St Patty's day parade from Hades!  
  
Ok, here it is: the last chapter. I hope you like it and please review.  
  
  
  
Bridget sighed as she ran up the narrow steps of her house to her room. She opened the door and smiled at the band uniform that lay on her bed. Ten minutes later she and her father where in the truck and on they're way to her high school.   
  
"There are still some stains on the pants." Bridget said angrily.  
  
"Well that's what happens when you get a uniform from when the school was started." Her dad said with a laugh. She frowned at him and wondered how he would know. He'd done track when at her school, but he'd become a very good band daddy so the band forgave him. They arrived at the school fifteen minutes early.   
  
"Ok, we've got three flags, a trombonist, and a bass drummer." Bridget said as she looked at the other cars. "Now we've got anther flag. Oh here comes a drummer-"  
  
"Bridget stop." Her dad said. She nodded and weighted for Ms Ed to come. When she did everyone got out and started to get out the drums and such.   
  
"Um...Ms Ed?" Ange, a clarinet asked.  
  
"Yah."  
  
"Where's the bus?" Ms Ed looked out the window and almost dropped a bunch of flags. There was no bus.   
  
"I called for it like three months ago." The distraught band director cried. Five minutes later the bus arrived and the students started to get everything put in its place. Bridget, Kris, Tony and Ange (all the sophomores who were there) got their seats.   
  
"Where are Margaret and Maggie?" Kris asked.  
  
  
"Well I don't care where Margaret is. She could drop off the earth for all I care-" Tony started.  
  
"Why do you too hate each other so much?" Bridget asked.  
  
"Yah, your mortal enemies or something." Kris said.  
  
"Hay you weren't between them during band camp." Bridget said with a roll of her eyes. " 'I'm smarter then you.' 'No your not!' 'What did you get on that test?' 'What did you get that semester?' 'Ha! I AM smarter then you.' 'Shut up!' The whole two weeks."  
  
"Hay Tony. Your dad needs to talk to you." Mikey yelled. Tony got up and left. Mikey started to sing some song about a bus going into a tree (Drummers) as he jumped over various sets in the bus.   
  
"Mikey your gonna fall on your head again." Ange said. (Ange is Mikey's sister.)  
  
"Soon everyone was back on and the bus started to move. The drummers and younger flags sat in the middle talking about God only knows what while the older kids sat in the back.  
  
"Hay, we all get to watch that thing in Biology tomorrow." Ange said.  
  
"Oh my God, all the sophomore bandos in a room together watching a movie thing with limited supervision. There won't be a school." Kris said with a laugh.  
  
"Excellent" Bridget said in her best-demented voice as she rubbed her hands together.   
  
"The plan's all coming together." Tony said.  
  
"What are you al plotting over there?" Ms Ed asked.  
  
"The demise of the school, wonna help?" Tony said with a smile.  
  
"Um, why are we going in the opposite direction of the parade?" Bridget asked, looking out the window.  
  
"Oh, we have to go to a different town to register." Ms Ed sighed.  
  
"Why?" Bridget said as she shook her head.  
  
"Because it's a parade for a bunch of drunk people. The real question is why we're doing it." Mike said.  
  
"To make the drunk people happy." Bridget offered.  
  
"They won't remember." Ange replied. They all looked at Ms Ed who just shook her head and the conversation was changed. Then they registered and Ms Ed came back on the bus.  
  
"We're the pretty much the last division." She said angrily. The bus went completely silent, even the drummers who were trying to throw one of their number out of the bus window. They weighted for fifteen minutes before they were allowed to leave. Then there was the almost half an hour drive way outside the town. They got off to find Maggie and Margaret weighting for then along with Julie. They were shrinking away form a man with a puppet...the puppet had red eyes. Bridget and Ange, who were afraid of that type of thing, looked at each other in horror before stepping off the bus. The man seemed to come right to them, singing some old Irish song completely out of tune. The two girls smiled and then retreated behind the two Saxes. When he walked away Tony turned around.  
  
"It's ok now. He's gone."  
  
"He's gonna be walking behind us." Margaret stated as she looked at him from the corner of her eye.   
  
"Oh." Ange and Bridget said together then started to laugh. The drummers were practicing the cadence; the riffles were "surfing" on their riffles with those headbands with shamrocks on them. Angel was trying to memorize her music; by the way Mean Green Mother is ALL trumpet parts. The others were trying to stay warm by having huddles and jumping up and down.  
  
"Let's mash!" Ange said and jumped at Kris.   
  
"Ahhhhhh! She's trying to kill me.' He cried and ran away, Ange chasing him. Bridget and Margaret were trying to use Bridget's horn as a source of heat from its reflection of the sun.  
  
"Maybe if we angle it like this..." Bridget said as she moved it a little so that the light hit Margaret's face.   
  
"Ok, guys it's finally time to go. BAND ATEN HUT!" Mike yelled. Everyone scrambled to get to his or her places in line. The band would walk for a few minutes then stop for twice as long. Every time they came to anther division part Mike would take the number sign and hold it up in triumph.   
  
"Your such a garbage picker." Laura yelled to him. He smiled at her as he held up the number one.  
  
"Ok you guys. I've solved the problem for if my fingers were to get frozen and I have to tell you what number to play." He said and held up the number one and two signs. "If I hold up number one you play Mean Green mother, if I hold up number two you play Twist and Shout and yes Margate we know that you don't think that they're appropriate." They marched for a little longer before the town was finally in sight.   
  
"Ms Ed what time is it?" Eric, anther bass drummer, asked. She looked at her watch and her face fell.  
  
"It's past two o'clock."  
  
"But we left at eleven." One of the flags cried out in dismay.  
  
"Who cares? Can we kick off the cadence now?" Tom asked.  
  
"Weight till we get to those houses." Ms Ed said with a sigh. They marched into town, and the drummers were playing the cadence right, to be greeted by three drunk guys. Things that need not be repeated were screamed as they walked past to a bunch of people on a porch...the only thing that needs to be said about this group that the one man resembled Tuxedo mask in green. This frightened the band beyond all possible belief. *Shudders at the memory * The rest of the parade was a lot like this, some things to mention were a little dog dyed green, and a teacher from the high school all decked out in green and a big hat. They finally reached were the cameras were and were instantly attacked by them. Poor Maggie had one right in her face so Mike started to make faces at her to make her laugh. They walked to were they're bus was going to be tired, cold and hungry. It was almost four o'clock. Everyone boarded the bus, yelling at each other.   
  
"Did they pay us?" Laura asked.  
  
"Yes, but not even half of what they said they would. We're NOT doing this again next year."  
  
"That's what you said last year." Mike said.  
  
"And the year before that." Tom called.  
  
"Shut up you." Ms Ed yelled. "I say we make up a song for this." She hummed a note and started to sing to the tune of the Micky mouse club song:  
  
"What's the town that sucks the most?  
_________________ Does.  
Why won't we come back?  
'Cause______ sucks"  
  
"_______sucks." The bandos chorused.  
  
"Forever will we hold our fingers high, high, high.  
_______sucks"  
  
  
  
This went on for most of the ride home. Tony suddenly smiled at Bridget.  
  
"Send in the clowns..." He started to sing.  
  
"Shut up before I shove you out of the bus seat." Bridget cried. He got through two more lines before she did. Meanwhile in the back Mike was going on about something and Laura shoved a chip in his mouth.  
  
"That'll get him to shut up." She said triumphantly.   
  
"I don't want any of your potatoy goodness." Mike yelled.  
  
"Fine I'll eat 'em all myself." Laura said and did so.  
  
"Hay, you ate the whole bag." Mike said, in shock.  
  
"Of course. You said you didn't want any."  
  
"I didn't want any when you were trying to use it to have me shut up. Now I want some." The drummers where singing "The Loin Sleeps Tonight", with their own twist. Tony was now back in the bus seat and arguing with Kris about something on South Park. They pulled in and got everything to put it back away when they opened the door they we're almost knocked out by the smell of cheap cigarettes...their school was having a bingo and the gym was full of people who were glaring at them.  
  
  
That's it. I just wanna say that this isn't supposed to offend anyone, that's why I sensered it. Thanks to the people who reviewed. Please let your self be one of those wonderful people. Also I think that this story proves how crazy, dedicated, and loyal band people are. Who else would do this and wind up sort of happy after word? Thanks for reading and happy St Patty's Day! 


End file.
